Belly babies & Heart babies

I am beginning to feel the prayers of so many friends!  Time off is soooo badly what I needed. No thoughts of medicines, shots or If this is going to work this time......

Jackson brings me so much JOY!  True Joy from God.  I read through the beginning of this blog and it just amazes me how the Lord brought Jackson into my life and where He took be before Jacksons arrival.

Jackson is my sweet angel. My special gift from God. My miracle baby.
I have felt guilty even asking God for another. But maternal instincts kicked in.
Now I'm wandering if thats a no.
I am trying to envision myself being content with that. But I am not there yet.
The world says, Jackson needs a sibling, he can't be an only child.  Jackson says I want a brother.
He is my Belly Baby and it is such a special thing, special gift, I'm honored and blessed.
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My heart wants adoption as well!  Its something Bill and I have talked about but have yet to take action on.

I have been reading Orphanology.  I don't feel like its ever been a Plan B for us. (as the book talks about)  Its something God asks of us in some form or another.

James 1:27
27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

WE have room in our heart for it! Lots of room!
Its always been something that we would let grow in our heart and God would lead us at some point.

Besides, Its too overwhelming to go forward with it when I am trying to conceive my own right now.

That is part of the anxiety.
Do we start adoption process now and do infertility stuff later or not at all.

I do know this, I am filled with anxiety when I think about "trying" to conceive AGAIN
BUT I feel myself LIGHT UP when I think about bringing home a child to love and adopt as my own.
As Christ adopted us!

Romans 8:15-17
15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.