Rest and Reflection

Bill and I had a wonderful Easter and then we left the next day for a week long trip to Scottsdale Arizona.  He had a conference that did not require too much of his time.  We were able to do ALOT! Pool time and travel.  We went to Sedona and hiked around the mountain trails and saw many popular  sites around the Pheonix area. I got to visit with family and just have a relaxing time in the warm sun.
It was just what I needed....Bill too.  It filled us with so much JOY to watch Jackson be so excited about everything we did and saw. :)

I did do a lot to thinking and reading though.

Bill and I are finishing up Orphanology.  I have been relishing it, taking mental notes and thinking each chapter through.......its taken me a LONG time to read it.

So, I have pretty much made up my mind to have the Laparoscopy done so we can try to have another biological baby.  But it costs and we will have to wait to save.

I am feeling a pull though, to go forward with the adoption classes and homestudys though, with Bill on board.  We are in this together.

I prayed this morning before leaving the hotel room, for peace when we got home...to know what to do.  And if we came up with a plan, that we would have peace that it was His plan as well.

I was reading today on the plane..... the chapters about how your church can be advocates and the voice of orphans (James 1:27).  I became all fired up!  I wanted to share this with our friends and pastors at the church! So many ideas went through my head......  We could start a ministry and provide resources and seminars and trips to areas of the world where there are orphans who cannot be adopted.....we can go and love them!  We could get the word out about trafficking.... on and on
I was ready to call my pastor right then.

Ha.

Well wouldn't you know, when I got home, I pulled up my Facebook and up came a post from my church with an event created!
Its call JamesOne27.  It was announced today at church.  God is already working on it, in our church!  He was getting my heart ready?  Will I be involved somehow? I Don't Know but WOW was I excited!

Some other truths the Lord has thrown my way the past couple days.  I must write down and remember:

Thurs Daily Bible App verse:  Proverbs 16:9  "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps"

Fri Jacksons Devo for today:  Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plan"

A note I came across on my phone. I had written it down last year:   "God break my heart for what breaks yours; stretch me beyond the place I think I can be stretched so that I can make a difference in the place of heartbreak; and You, Father, heal the brokenness in that circumstance and in my heart."

A verse I had saved on my phone last year:

Psalm 107 

   Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

 and he delivered them from their distress.

29 

He made the storm be still,

    and the waves of the sea were hushed.

30 

Then they were glad that the waters[c] were quiet,

    and he brought them to their desired haven.

These verses really spoke to me.  I know God is in control.  I pray He uses Bill and I. We are ready and willing!

Belly babies & Heart babies

I am beginning to feel the prayers of so many friends!  Time off is soooo badly what I needed. No thoughts of medicines, shots or If this is going to work this time......

Jackson brings me so much JOY!  True Joy from God.  I read through the beginning of this blog and it just amazes me how the Lord brought Jackson into my life and where He took be before Jacksons arrival.

Jackson is my sweet angel. My special gift from God. My miracle baby.
I have felt guilty even asking God for another. But maternal instincts kicked in.
Now I'm wandering if thats a no.
I am trying to envision myself being content with that. But I am not there yet.
The world says, Jackson needs a sibling, he can't be an only child.  Jackson says I want a brother.
He is my Belly Baby and it is such a special thing, special gift, I'm honored and blessed.
_____________

My heart wants adoption as well!  Its something Bill and I have talked about but have yet to take action on.

I have been reading Orphanology.  I don't feel like its ever been a Plan B for us. (as the book talks about)  Its something God asks of us in some form or another.

James 1:27
27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

WE have room in our heart for it! Lots of room!
Its always been something that we would let grow in our heart and God would lead us at some point.

Besides, Its too overwhelming to go forward with it when I am trying to conceive my own right now.

That is part of the anxiety.
Do we start adoption process now and do infertility stuff later or not at all.

I do know this, I am filled with anxiety when I think about "trying" to conceive AGAIN
BUT I feel myself LIGHT UP when I think about bringing home a child to love and adopt as my own.
As Christ adopted us!

Romans 8:15-17
15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.