Ugggggh

Yesterday was a bad day for me. We were slow at work and that is agonizing for me. So, when that happens I think more and right now I do not need to THINK. (think about my situation)
I was down, sad, feeling like I will start my period this weekend and scared of that outcome, though I have experience that outcome for the past 2.5 years.
I am not sure I like this whole IUI thing. The wait is excruciating.
My boobs hurt, I have these little cramps ............am I pregnant? or am I about to start?
UGGGGHHH. Not sure I can handle this. But it is only the first IUI and maybe I will get a better handle on myself after I have done a couple.
We have an unexplained infertility and they call it. No real big reason. MAybe its a mixture of his low mobility and the fact that I have a tilted uterus. They're trying to get there but the destination is unclear. :) So, IUI's SHOULD work, forcing them in the right spot. But with natural fertilization, your chances aren't that high anyways, so the IUI isn't going to be much higher.

Tired of talking about it again. I need to renw my mind on Christ and his plans. .....daily it seems like. But I have my horomes working against me right now. I think I am about to start and so I am very emotional this week (more than last week) It will help to see my family this weekend! What a blessing! And they don't even know all of this. I wish I could tell my mom and sister. But there isn't anything they can do anyways. No more than they are already doing: Hoping and praying.