Backround

February 18th 2007 12:00am. I turned 30 yrs old and it was then that Bill and I started TTC (trying to conceive). I had waited long enough. We had been married for 6 years! I had wanted to have a baby 6 months into our married and my time had arrived! Yay!
I was tired of hearing, "lets wait until we have more money" or "we have plenty of time, you know how fertile your mom is (5 kids)"
Well, 2.5 years later, after being poked and prodded, test after test for both him and I we find out that nothing major is really wrong with us besides a slightly low sperm count with low mobility............probably caused by stress.
Well, lets see..........Since we started trying Bill has finished his last year in Med School, moved and started his first year in Residency......Nothing but STRESS CITY. Timing is everything and the worst time would have been the past 2 years! So, we wait. But in the meantime we go forward with what our doctor at the Cleveland Clinic suggests..........begin Artificial Insemination by way of IUI: Intrauterine Insemination. This is the first step for us. Because of our age and time TTC the Doc suggests we try 3 rounds (consecutive months) of IUI. He is hopeful.

Where is God in all of this? Well, I know He hears my crys asking why and has carried us through this time. Bill and I have such a great support system and I have found comfort in consistantly reading my Bible for the first time EVER. I learned much of the New Testament growing up but now I read it with whole new eyes. I guess I am older, wiser, less naive and really want to know and understand Christ and what He was all about. Anyways, in reading I have found comfort in my wait......in Gods waiting room, I know He knows that exact time and place we will hold our first child. Either by natural birth or adoption, we were destined to be parents. I just feel it. I constantly give this whole thing to Him. It seems easier for Bill than me. But I think we go through this in a different way........I am the one that realizes my cycle has started and cry alone in the bathroom, I am the one that "thinks I feel something, could I be pregnant?" NO. I have those maturnal instincts when seeing babies, etc. But he does deal with it in his own way. He is hurting and it breaks my heart. He is a provider and he feels he is not providing the one thing I have wanted since 6 months into our marriage. I love him so much and pray daily that God blesses us.