My Distraction

Bill and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that this may be a long road still. The beginning of the week was very sad for us.........we were just down. It is hard for me to see Bill like that. He is so strong and encouraging to me but to have to be that for him is a role I haven't played. Its tearing him up now. Well, I prayed to God to give me a distraction. I needed to get my mind off of it. Well, I have definitely been distracted this week. My grandmother passed away on Wednesday and that has filled my mind more than anything. And Bills parents are here this weekend-big distraction, although I know they are going to ask and we have decided to tell them about the IUI's. We may skip the July IUI because it is becoming too emotional, too overwhelming. The Dr. did say that this will be a very emotional journey and we may need to take a break at times. We went into it full force but are now losing hope and just too up and down. We may wait until August to do the next one and since it is on a weekend........make it a mini-fertility vacation. Go somewhere relaxing. Not sure where. Other distraction: Our very long and slow move :)

Ok, so after my long depressing spiel 2 nights ago I cried (cried so hard I popped a few blood vessels near my eye) and yesterday I felt so much better. I guess I really needed to cry. I was so darn happy yesterday I got on my own nerves. What an emotion low then high........just pms as usual. up and down. I haven't started yet- fully expect to this weekend, took a preg test this morning (I was anxious) It was SO negative. Doesn't necessarily mean anything as Bill would say but it just confirmed what I already know.
I have a great diversion though. We are moving and I am having fun picking out wall colors (my landlord is letting me do that....awesome) and getting ready to move. I will be packing this weekend while bill works and hopefully moving next week. VERY FAST. So, that is helping me get my mind off everything. I am on a search for the coolest shower curtain. I want to take my time and pick out the best.......I know funny. Oh and we are taking our time picking out the BEST fire pit for the back yard too. Both things we are thinking way too hard about but getting our minds onto other things. :)

Started reading yesterday from where I left off in Genesis (finished Old Test- now on to New) and of course it went right into Abraham and Sarah. Just a reminder to me that God will provide. Trying my best to keep hold of His promise.