11.10.2014

A Renewed Faith

As I sit here holding my friends foster baby in my arms (I have the honor of watching her every monday), I am in awe of Gods beauty and in awe of the hands that the Lord entrusts to hold these little ones and love them.  For a while now I have felt unworthy of being those hands.  Doubt had settled down in my heart.  I had always had a heart for these little ones but I let fear take over.  Just the opposite feeling of the hope in my previous post.  I was fearful then, in the Word but the past few weeks I have let it settle in and make a home.  I cried out to God and he gave me the notion to call a dear friend.  (Thank you Erika)

She said,
"Fear is the opposite of Faith.  
When you are in Fear, the Devil is NEAR.  
That Means the Lord has something GREAT for you!"

I was in tears and KNEW God had just spoke through her.  The weight of doubt and fear lifted off my shoulders and I felt Joy to be the HANDS of Christ. I began to long to hold the little one whom He had for us.  


We will be finished with week with all we need to do to prepare to be foster parents.  Then the waiting begins.  Our prayer is for Gods hand to be in the whole process!




9.13.2014

So Fast Forward to Today.....

Its been almost 4 months (and a very busy Summer) 
since I wrote last.  


Long story short.........We began and completed classes to Foster-to-Adopt.  It was a decision Bill and made this summer.  We continued to feel a tug towards adoption.....particularly 
foster-to-adopt.  



We are excited, scared, anxious, curious, happy, nervous all at once.  Its a weird feeling.  Its much like that feeling we felt when I found out I was pregnant with Jackson....excited but 
"Can we do this???"    



I believe if the Lord brought us to this point, He will follow through to completion.  He will get us through it.  Through those doubts and the stress that can come with adopting and foster child He will see us through.  He is already on the other side because He goes before us.  There is JOY!

(painting graphic by me...a little hobby I've taken up as well...more to come on that.)

I have been focusing so much on Matthew 14:22-33. Its been my Rock through doubt, anxiety, worry, the list goes on and on. I have felt the Lord speaking to me through this...

22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way[b]from the land,[c] beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea,they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”  28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said,“Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
_______________________________

There are so many songs out right now about this story in the Bible and I love them all.  Oceans by Hillsong United  Take Heart by Hillsong United  You Make Me Brave by Bethel Music

______________________________________

We must keep our eyes on the Lord, do not take our eyes off Him for a moment.  He is leading us and taking us somewhere great.  I don't want to miss a thing.  Although I (me Christie, not Bill so much)  tend to worry, feel anxious, doubt, I'm Human....I must keep my eyes locked on the one that truly brings Joy and knows the best way to get us there! Amen. :)  

Deciding to Adopt in no way replaces our want for more biological children.  It could still happen.  We are just following the Lords leading, walking through open doors and not forcing doors that are shut.  A surgery is recommended, however, I'm putting it off for the time being until we get through all that goes into the adoption process.  My focus has just shifted. 

Stay tuned...